Wedding Party Do’s and Skips…

I do crew, Bride/Groom squad, the dream team, whatever you call them there’s no denying that your wedding party play a massive role in your day. Those you choose for these roles can set the tone for the whole day, go through the planning process with you, stand by your side through all the emotions of the day and ultimately want to see you have the best day ever!

But with wedding planning being as stressful as it can be, it’s easy to snappy with your wedding party and feel like they’re getting in the way. So below are my tips to stop you becoming a Bridezilla or Groomasaurus-Rex.

1. Choose who the fuck you like!

This one for me is the most important. I know there’s going to be people who ‘ooh, I have to have them’, ‘if I have that person then I have to ask [insert name] as well’ and the worst ‘mum says I have to have [insert name] as a flower girl, bridesmaid ect.’

Well, I’m here to tell you- You do NOT have to listen to them. Have who you want. But my advice would be- choose people who give you energy and not those who suck the fun out of the room. That’s not to say don’t choose people who are sensible and have practical suggestions, just make sure you surround yourselves with people who get you!

2. Be Honest

Sounds silly, doesn’t it? of course I’ll be honest, but if things get stressful you may find you have no energy for being frank with your favourite people.

But my policy has always been- ‘no one will ever be mad at you for being honest’. So, with that in mind, if your Maid of honour is stressing you out talking about her dress- Tell her! If the Best man sounds like their speech is going to be not to your taste- Tell him!

You don’t have to be rude or bossy, just let them know that what they’re doing is having a negative effect on you and the likely hood is they never even realised and will change their behaviour. The last thing you want is tension on or around your big day! There were moments when I had to be honest with Friends and family with details of our day and I don’t regret it ‘cause it meant I didn’t have any pent up negative energy.

3. Be orgnaised

Ok, So I’m a bit of a organisational nut! So, for me having everything properly organised is a must have. Not everyone is like this and that’s cool, but my suggestion would be when it comes to your wedding, try and get a plan down on paper and communicate that to your Wedding Party, they can only help if you have given them all the details.

This is a must for me-

A whole day plan, that gives timings, locations, contact details. If they have an action at a time, let them know. E.g. ‘Mark to call guests into dinner’ or ‘Laura to help Grandma Phillis onto transport’ Your Wedding party aren’t mind readers and are busy with their own lives whilst your planning your day so make things as easy for them as possible by making information easy and available.

4. Remeber they want to help

The last two points sounded very boring and uptight. You may have even read them and thought- Well, that just sounds bossy, I’m too laid back for that and I want my wedding party to have fun! But I will caveat both of those points with- Your Favourite people will want to help! So, asking them to do a couple of things, giving them a plan for the day and being honest with them isn’t being bossy or pain in the arse, your simply giving them direction on how to help you have your special day. Then you can all have great day, get freaking married then celebrate with a line of shots at the bar and then dance the night away!

5. Remember it’s not all about you (sorry!)

Really sorry but it’s the truth. You are planning one of the biggest days of your life, yes, but whilst you’re doing that everyone else is just living their lives; with their jobs, their family commitments and whatever else they have got on your plate. Ask them for help, they will honestly want to give what they can, just be mindful that this may not be their top priority and that’s ok.

and Bonus point- Thank them! obviously this is traditionally done in the speeches and it’s not really common to give your Wedding party gifts to thank them for their help, but my top tip is writing them a card putting that heartfelt message on paper and tell them to their face on the day.

6. Don’t form a sub

committee

This one sounds odd but here me out- I hate this narrative that the girls go off and do all the planning and then the guys just show up when told. Ick, hate it.

Yes, have all the fun you can planning your wedding with your best friends because it is so much fun! But also make sure that you plan it with your future spouse and make key decisions together and listen to each other. For the things you want extra opinions on; I’d throw planning parties, get all of the wedding party together, have a couple of drinks and plan together!

7. Ask them to help with the Photos

I wouldn’t be a photographer if I didn’t throw this one in here. Especially with group and confetti shots we need help, make sure your Wedding party is on hand so we can all work together to get these staged shots done and so everyone can crack on and have fun, not just them slipping off to the bar whilst you stand their gagging for a drink- no one wants that, least of all me. So, give your Wedding party the heads up and get them to help.